For Sherry, but Mostly for Me

Today looked like an ordinary Saturday.

I slept in.  I ate Grape Nuts with Splenda.  I showered and dressed in jeans and a Tshirt.  I told the kids to clean their rooms.  I started the laundry. I cleaned my bathroom.  Charlie came over to help me organize some homeschool stuff.  I cleaned up a bottle of shampoo that Madame Chaos spilled. I had leftover pizza for lunch.  I loaded the dishwasher.  I told the kids to clean their rooms.  I cleaned up the pile of toilet paper that Madame Chaos spun til the roll was empty.  I put some more laundry in.  I welcomed my big girls back from YW Camp.  I visited with my friends who returned our car from Boise.  I had the neighbor kids over.  I told the kids to clean their rooms.  I made spaghetti for dinner and told the kids to clean their rooms.  I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher while I talked with my husband.  I told the kids to clean their rooms.  Hubby and I took Necia to the dance and then went on a date to RoeAnn’s Drive-in.  I came home to blog.  I have plans to watch a movie with Charlie until it’s time to pick up the kids from the dance. 

But it’s not an ordinary day for me.  Today is the day that I outlive my mother, who was killed in a car accident 31 years ago at the age of 38 years, two months, and seven days.  I’ve been thinking about this date for some time, trying to decide how to mark it, what it means for me to surpass the woman I have consciously and subconsciously modeled myself after.  Should I do something she would have done?  Should I individuate and do something she wouldn’t have done?  In the end, I decide that the best thing to do would be to live.

So I did.

nikki1stbday

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7 Comments

  1. Julie M. Smith said,

    July 15, 2007 at 7:38 am

    Oh, Idahospud, you are so brave. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Bless you. I imagine your mother is looking down on you with pride at the amazing woman you have become.

    I think you spent the day exactly right [although mini chocolate chips are much better in Grape Nuts than Splenda!].

  2. Susan Kendall said,

    July 15, 2007 at 6:52 pm

    First time reader, first time responder. I cried; what a day to have. You look exactly like your beautiful mother, by the way.

  3. Stacy said,

    July 17, 2007 at 8:41 pm

    That was beautiful. My mother knew your mother and always thought she was pretty. I will be 38 tomorrow. Happy Birthday cousin!

  4. fMhLisa said,

    July 18, 2007 at 3:16 pm

    Dude, no making me cry in the middle of the day. And
    those are the best cheeks ever. I totally see where madame Chaos gets it now.

  5. Karen said,

    July 19, 2007 at 8:59 am

    I think that was a great way to honor your mother.

  6. Mary said,

    July 20, 2007 at 11:40 am

    I know your mother must be very proud of you (I know I am). I wouldn’t be surprised if she was watching, and I’ll bet she would have wanted you to spend your day JUST THAT WAY. I’m nuts about Madame Chaos, and I love your writing. Thanks for being here and being you. Love, M

  7. Lance said,

    July 25, 2007 at 5:15 pm

    Hey Nik. This is so crazy I haven’t checked this for a while so I decided to go through & read the blog’s I missed. I can totally relate, I am only about 5 yrs. from out living my Dad & today is exactly 23 yrs. since he passed away (I can’t believe it).In many ways it feels like an eternity & others it feels like it was just yesterday. I know that your Mom must be so proud of the Daughter, Mother, Wife, SISTER, Aunt, Friend & Person you have become. You’re awesome!
    Love ya.


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