How To: Ruin Your Mom’s Diet

Installment Six in Madame Chaos’ informative series.

Nothing could be simpler than this little tip.  It requires only luck and timing, but I do give some credit to the fortunate circumstance of being lastborn.

All you have to do is lie in wait while your mom is frantically sewing your big sister’s very complicated Renaissance costume that must be done by Saturday night’s costume party.  Do little distracting things like whine to be held and “help sew,” get close to the iron, complain about every movie Mom suggests to put in the laptop for you, smear the Bribe Cookie on the fabric, and disappear out of the sewing room often to go on mysterious and nefarious errands.

Once Mom leaves the room, pick up her Sacred Sewing Scissors and use them to cut the cord to the sewing machine pedal.  Since Mom has a house rule that I (her baby!  Her sweet, sweet baby!) can’t be punished for destroying something if people leave their stuff unattended and in my reach, I know I’ve created the amusing situation of entangling her in her own web.  All that’s left to do is acknowlege to her that yes, I did indeed cut the cord, say something cute like, “I fix it, okay Mama?”  and sit back and watch her beeline for the chocolate chips.

I can’t believe she wouldn’t give me any.

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7 Comments

  1. Holly said,

    October 19, 2007 at 9:15 am

    Oh. My. Goodness. I’m speechless.

  2. Tricia said,

    October 19, 2007 at 9:17 pm

    At least it wasn’t the power cord!

    Right???

    Tricia

  3. Karen said,

    October 19, 2007 at 9:26 pm

    Bummer.

  4. Clare said,

    October 20, 2007 at 8:46 am

    Oh heck! Thank goodness it wasn’t the power cord. No chocolate chip cookies for a little girl forever I should think!

  5. Andrea said,

    October 21, 2007 at 10:34 am

    I once spent weeks knitting a sweater and had just sewn it up when some-one came to the door. By the time I’d answered it my lovely dd (age about 3 at the time) had cut a great big 6 inch slash right across the middle with the scissors I had not had time to put away !! Don’t you just love ’em !!

  6. Kasey said,

    October 21, 2007 at 1:22 pm

    The good thing about Madame Chaos, aside from her angelic face, is she provides you with plenty of blogging material!

  7. Kris said,

    November 5, 2007 at 2:45 am

    Oh. My. Gosh. This girl never ceases to leave me speechless with my jaw on the floor. Poor Nik! I’m so sorry!


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