A “Stay-At-Home” Mom Doesn’t

6:00am:  Alarm rings.  I hit the snooze button.

6:05am:  Alarm rings.  I get up and dress in my sweats and my daughter’s running shoes.  My neighbor will be by in ten minutes so we can go, *ahem* “jogging.”

6:20am:  Dang.  I was hoping she slept in and wasn’t coming–she’s just late.  And she’s got her 11-year-old son with her.  They grin at me in the darkness.  We get out to the road and start “jogging.”  With a bum knee and recovering from a respiratory infection, I’m even slower than usual.  Her son, wearing hiking boots, beats us handily as we take 15 minutes to “jog” 1.4 miles to the neighbor’s house and back. 

6:35am:  Back home.  I might as well sit at the computer while I stop sweating.  Check email, check blogs.

7:00am:  Whisper goodbyes to Kiwi as she goes out the door to the bus stop, heading for math and band at the Jr. High.  Decide to put off shower and waking other kids to surf web for another 10 minutes.

7:10am:  Wake elementary school kids.  Spend 50 minutes getting them ready for school, wondering for the 384,295,582,856th time if I shouldn’t have stopped homeschooling them this year.  Somewhere in there J heads off to work.

8:00am:  LouLou head to bus stop, and I let G stay home because he’s still coughing and says he has a headache. I start preparing cake for my friend’s birthday lunch.  She said to surprise her–she’s never had apple cake, so I make that.

8:30am: Abandon messy kitchen to read half of “A Fish Out of Water” to Madame Chaos and Dee, then decide we better leave early to relieve the overflowing recycle bins and return RedBox movies.  Dang.  I didn’t shower.  Well, yesterday’s clothes will be fine then, right?

9:00am:  Missy, Madame Chaos, Dee, G and I get in the van.  Missy drives us around to the errands, then to the high school where she takes five classes.  She’s still technically homeschooled, but takes band, choir, math, speech, and seminary at the high school.

9:30am: We pick up Kiwi from the Jr High, then I drop all of them off at home while I head to the elementary school where I volunteer Monday mornings.  I spend 45 minutes in LouLou’s class, and the rest of the time in G’s class (even though he’s home sick). 

12:00pm:  Run to one of our town’s two gift shops, looking for a birthday gift for Maria.  Decide to get the yellow pepper-shaped dip bowl and see if I can find a red bowl somewhere else to go with it.  Drive to the other gift store (it’s closed Mondays) then Kings then in desperation to the dollar store, and finally go back to the first store and exchange the pepper bowl for a cute but not-quite-what-I wanted chip-and-dip set. 

12:50pm:  Back home to pick up Dee and Madame Chaos and the birthday cake; try again to make my unshowered hair appear nice; the kitchen is still a huge mess but I feel guilty leaving Kiwi to her homeschool (and sorta-sick G) alone, so I don’t ask her to clean it up for me.

1:00pm: Head to Maria’s birthday lunch at Kim’s house; Kim’s behind on today’s orders for her surgical hat making business, so I pitch in for half an hour on the sewing machine before we eat.  Madame Chaos jockeys for the scissors, holding up an almost-finished hat:  “But I want to cut this, Mom!”

2:30pm: Leave Dee to play with Kim’s son while M.C. and I drive home so I can get ready for LouLou’s 4-H club meeting.  Spend 45 minutes frantically sewing some sample string-pieced quilt blocks for demonstration; leave the house late (the kitchen still a huge mess) while spritzing on some perfume and trying again to make my hair not look stringy.

3:35pm:  Pick up LouLou and her friend at school then out to the country school to pick up Kim’s daughter and drive them all to 4-H.  In the car I have a coughing fit that leaves my lungs burning and all my mascara running down my face, adding to my aforementioned beauty.  We finally get to 4-H, where I teach the quilting mini-classes to the teens while the younger kids do their cooking and sewing rotations. 

 5:30pm:  Try to stay under the speed limit as I transport a carload of kids to their homes, and get home just in time to pick up G for his wrestling practice (he’s feeling better).  The kitchen is even worse now, with the after-school snack mess added to my cooking mess from this morning.  On the way out the door I holler to the big girls that I didn’t get anything made for dinner so just heat up some soup when the kids get hungry.

6:00pm:  Feel oddly grateful that we’re in the stinky wrestling room so my own gross unshowered carcass is less noticeably rank, while I watch stinky little boys learn the half-nelson.

7:30pm:  Get home to pandemonium; where’s my husband?  Hiding out at the computer, as unwilling as I am to face the mess and homework and parental judiciary duties.  We watch a battle scene of Serenity before we finally get up to herd the kids into chores, homework, and bedtime routine. 

8:45pm:  Get the younger set into bed; we’re still waiting for Missy to get home from working on a school project at a friend’s.  I’ve reached overload with kids and messes and so dh takes over and I head to bed.  I need to decompress; I read Eleanor Roosevelt’s biography for book club before escaping into sleep at 10pm.

I never did get that shower.



  1. Holly said,

    February 26, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    I’m tired just reading this. I don’t always get my shower either and I only have two elementary school kids!

  2. Julia said,

    February 27, 2008 at 9:00 am

    Everyone seems to think that being a SAHM is sooooooooo easy! HA! Being a Mom is one of the hardest, never-ending, but most rewarding jobs that you will have here is this life!
    Who wants to shower everyday anyway! LOL

  3. Andrea said,

    February 27, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    I feel a nap coming on – you’ve tired me out ! What a busy day !

  4. Angie said,

    August 6, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    Sound so familiar. Are we CRAZY? Will we survive the lunacy? I just love you!!!

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