Goodbye, Heidi

Yesterday I learned that a childhood friend had been in a terrible head-on collision and was being removed from life support after a week in ICU.

Heidi loved me through sixth and seventh grade when my family was imploding and I thought I’d never laugh again.

She helped me navigate my first major crush and gave me the courage to invite him over on his birthday for billiards and birthday cake–she even made the icing and was our chaperone so it wouldn’t be a “date.”

When we showed up at a pool party wearing the exact same KMart bathing suits, she downplayed the fact that she looked much better in it than I did, and she devised the idea that we could be “sychronized swimmers.” We spent the next two hours in our own little world, twirling and ducking under the water and pretending we were beautiful athletic women instead of awkward tweens.

I lost track of Heidi after I moved, but never forgot her infectious enthusiasm. I was delighted to find her again on Facebook a few months ago, and wasn’t surprised to learn that she had retained that tendency to enjoy life. Her last post was this Og Mandino quote:  “Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.”

I want to hide under the covers today, Heidi. I’m angry at a world that would snatch you out of it, and I want to rage and wail. But I know you’d pull me out of there, and make me laugh and bake a cake and swan dive.

Rest In Peace, my friend.

If At First You Don’t Succeed: An Essay in Photos

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Another Project Finished

Most of my quilting projects this summer have been for other people. I just finished this one, made for a beloved girl heading to college tomorrow. Her mom saved her jeans and pants and had me make this:

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Thanks for holding it up, LouLou!

With the exception of two pockets that I sewed closed (they gapped goofily), all the pockets and buttons are functional.

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I would have liked to include more buttons and snaps and rivets, but since this is supposed to be a comfortable and functional quilt, I only included one square with major hardware, near one corner:

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I wanted to make the quilt more interesting so I cut out some circles from the pants’ leftovers, and appliqued them on. When the quilt is washed, the edges of the circles will fray groovily.

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I liked the labels so I cut them off the jeans and resewed them on individual squares.

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The quilt is backed with a soft and fuzzy polyester that should wear like iron.

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A fun project!  And thank you, LouLou and Madame Chaos for the display help!

Post at fMh

I’ve got photos of Ireland coming up, but for now, here is a post I wrote for Feminist Mormon Housewives:

A Calendar of Hope, 1969

Things That Keep Me Up At Night, Part I

I used to be an insomniac. From about age 12 until I became a regular exerciser at about age 25, sleeplessness was my unwelcome nighttime companion. I still suffered with bouts of it until last year, when I learned self-hypnosis (I know, I know . . . .but it totally worked!). Now, sleep is no problem.

Until last night. I wish I could say that contemplating the larger mysteries of the universe is what chases away dreamland, but my most recent episode shows that it is the larger mysteries of the English language that does it. And so, my six dear readers, if you are having trouble sleeping, this is a post that will, paradoxically, put you right in snoozeville.

So I’m lying there, thinking about a cute thing Madame Chaos said. As we were driving past the water tower, she gave me a glimpse into the desires of her heart as she said, “If we climb up the water tower, the firecracker chiefs will be mad at us.” Then the thought occurred to me: why is the plural of “chief”, “chiefs”, while the plural of “thief” is “thieves”? Then I thought of the other phonetic rhymes like leaf/leaves, sheaf/sheaves, and even the antiquated beef/beeves. But then I realized I should stick with the “ief” spelling, and thought of brief/briefs, belief/beliefs and grief/griefs (with the added interest of the related verb “to grieve”, which sidetracks me for a few minutes). And then I’m pretty sure “kerchief” can be pluralized both as “kerchiefs” and “kerchieves”. So, despite (or because of?) my years of teaching spelling rules and their inevitable exceptions, I find myself trying to come up with the rule for when a word ending with the phoneme /Ef/ changes to either /Efs/ or /Evz/. Then I start longing for my very own, unabriged copy of the Oxford English Dictionary to show me the evolution of each of those words so I can figure it out myself instead of looking it up online. Then I figure I should just get myself out of bed and look it up already so I can go back to sleep.

An hour or more later, I can’t find any rules specific to the /Ef/ phoneme, just the usual “a noun ending in an -f is usually pluralized with -ves.”

So this is my hard-won, sleep-depriving, self-made rule (are you asleep yet?): all the nouns ending in -ief are exceptions to the rule of plurals except for “thief,” which is an exception to this exception (and therefore keeps the rule), and “kerchief,” which can take either plural. Big sigh.

You’re welcome.

How To: Develop Your Own Style

Madame Chaos presents her eighth post in her ongoing guest-blogger series.

I have broached the subject of personal style before, but in the context of home decor. I would like to turn the spotlight on a more personal canvas: the adornment of one’s self. For me, the year 2008 was one of unparalleled fashion triumph, a veritable mindspring of creativity born of personal ingenuity and an innate sense of style–and, astonishingly enough, utilized only those things readily available in my own house.  In my quest to offer self-improvement choices beyond traditional expectations, I submit to you that attention to detail in the way you physically present yourself will both reflect and encourage your inner fabulousness, and needn’t be prohibitively expensive.  Here are my tips for exploring the identity you want to project without breaking the bank:

1. Repurpose

Not only is repurposing a thrifty choice, it is a green one. You will exude and encourage eco-consciousness when you take to heart the Proustian adage: “The voyage of true discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes, but in seeing with new eyes.” With four older sisters, I have at my disposal a collection of costumes from uncountable ballet, clogging, and tap recitals–but what is the fun of merely recreating those costumes? Instead, repurposing showcases my personal style when I take a dotty skirt with an inset panty, and make it my own by flipping the panty inside-out and creating a one-shouldered bodice:

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(**Note: my longtime readers will recognize my application of Tough-Love in the above photo.)
Adding mismatched heels makes a statement–and checking the “spin” of the skirt is mandatory:
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This particular outfit was a staple of my at-home wardrobe for much of the year.

A second example of repurposing makes a comment on the convergence of the sociopolitical and ecopolitical in a single item: The Wal-Mart plastic bag. Fashion becomes the vehicle for voicing the questions: what are the long-term effects of pandering to and literally clothing ourselves with homage to the corporate machine? Are we trading our local control over natural and financial resources for a flimsy and ultimately unsatisfying relationship with international conglomerates who wish to transform us into consumerist sycophants?

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It is my hope that such an outfit gives my older sisters food for thought on their and their friends’ unenviable position of being sellout corporations-with-legs advertising for American Eagle, Hollister, Old Navy, Abercrombie, and Aeropostale. Ah, but such musings perhaps deserve their own series installment, and I should resume my take on the subject at hand.

2. Alter To Make it Your Own

As the youngest of 6, 5 of them girls, the bulk of my wardrobe has consisted of hand-me-downs. While I’m resigned to being forever designated as “Missy/Kiwi/LouLou/Dee’s Younger Sister,” I certainly don’t have to be simply a smaller victim of their fashion choices. One of the quickest way to alter a tired hand-me-down is with my tried-and-true friend, scissors.
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See how these old pants went from drab to fab with just a few snips? Now they are REALLY wild, instead of just wild-print wannabes.

More clever scissor-surgeries include this ingenious alteration I like to call The Port Hole: it reveals my “novel naval navel,” get it?

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Of course, there’s no reason you can’t take a stylish snip out of the crown of your hair; however, it virtually guarantees that your mom will require you to wear a carefully-placed ponytail for the rest of the year, which defeats the purpose. Still, you can enjoy knowing that the snip is there, and that *you* created it:

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Another alteration involves the simple application of lipstick in an unexpected place–an older sister’s coveted dress (one with lots of the aforementioned and highly-sought-after “spin”):
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“Making it your own,” you see, can be code for “Render it unwearable by anyone else.” The effect is the same.

3. Add Surprising Accents

Too much of one particular style can appear uninspired. Mix things up! Why have just “Princess Ballet” style or “Cool Cowgirl” style when you can have “Cool Princess Cowgirl Ballet” style?

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Friends, family, neighbors, and livestock alike will appreciate your ingenuity–particularly 4H hogs named Romeo and Juliet, another unexpected mixture of good-taste and tastes-good in the “in-love-and-destined-to-die” kind of way:

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Set yourself atop a horse and you’ve created an unmistakeable style that reflects your unique personality:

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The ultimate unexpected accent is . . . . Nothing. Juxtapose layers of skirts and accessories with . . . Nothing . . . on the top–Wow!

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For further surprises, launch the Nothing in a public place like the zoo, draping your clothing on whatever is handy while your mom has her camera focused elsewhere. When she turns the paparazzi device on you, you will be ready!

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4. Don’t Forget The Face

It makes good fashion sense (and just good plain fun) to remember the face when deciding how to self-present. Lipstick is a truly indespensible tool not just for sisters’ dresses, but for the nose and hair (and mirror–why not?):

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While you’re at the mirror, practice the facial expressions you think will reflect who and what you wish to show the world to be your truest self:

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Passive? Nah.

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Aggressive? Maybe.

How about this one?

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THAT’S THE ONE!

Until next time, dear readers . . . . . . .

Madame Chaos

December 31, 1988

Twenty years ago, at the very hour I post this (noon), two kids were married.  The bride was 19, the groom 22, and they had a combined monthly income of $450, $220 of which went to rent their weird little apartment carved out of the second floor of an old house in Moscow, Idaho.  They were starry-eyed students who, as the bride’s father put it, thought they could “live on love.”  They had no honeymoon, except for a night at the Best Western that their friends pitched in for, and went right back to work the day after they wed.

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We’ve come a long way, baby.  Happy Anniversary!

Sixteen Candles

Sixteen Christmas mornings ago, a beautiful newborn salved the bitterness of two miscarriages with only the reality of her perfect self in my arms. She came home in a large Christmas stocking and hat, on the merriest Christmas ever:

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Today, we celebrated sixteen years together. Happy Birthday, Missy May!

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Simple Gifts

I am grateful for these simple gifts today:

Read the rest of this entry »

A Christmas Eve Offering

As the Christmas season reaches its apex, finding time and room to contemplate God’s greatest gift to us may be difficult, but nudges me with its urgency. Son of God, already a perfect being who had created the very world He would condescend to, could have been introduced here in any number of ways befitting the King whose title He deserved millenia before the Nativity, before Golgotha, before the empty tomb. Yet He came as one of us, a helpless Babe who would need swaddling clothes to comfort and contain the flailing limbs. The hands that shaped a universe, carved commandments into stone tablets, touched sixteen clear stones to light the deep, and that would tremble under cruel nails could only reflexively curl around Mary’s fingers as He suckled, utterly dependent, at her breast. Surrounded by servile animals and outcast from the community of human shelter, the new little family–inextricably and eternally linked with the human family–commenced an earthly work that would culminate in an act so powerful that it reaches both forward and backward in time to save every soul willing to receive it.

Oh, come let us adore Him, Christ the Lord!

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